change won't kill you.

if I've learned anything over the course of my career with the opposite sex, it's that all girls are the same. all of them. of course, not on the surface, but under all the attitudes and facades. nothing separates any of their mechanics from anyone else.

I'm fighting to put these words into physical form...

it doesn't matter what I say, how much proof/evidence I present, how illogical their argument is, once they have their mind made up, there's no changing it.

I'll admit, I'm not the nicest guy. I'm sarcastic, impatient, and impervious to most feelings. I see things in black and white, base alot of things on validity, and I dislike tact. I'm a little rough around the edges. it's gotten me a not so friendly reputation, and I can deal with it. it's not something I flaunt, but I can honestly say that I earned it, and I probably won't change anytime in the foreseeable future. I understand it.

Given all of that, I'm a good guy. I'm not violent, I'm not disloyal, I'm not spiteful, I'm not ignorant, I'm not stupid, I'm not immature, and most importantly, I'm not a liar. and it's not like these things are so hidden to the point that only my mother knows this. everybody knows.

since they know this, why do they feel it necessary to disregard anything positive I have to say? important things, like... oh, I don't know... "I LIKE YOU?" is it the cool thing to do? does Cosmo say it's important to a relationship to act fucking stupid? seriously, if they didn't want to try anything, or didn't want what we had to work, aren't there better ways to go about it? yeah, getting dumped sucks, but I won't rip your head off for it.

everybody has a past, and I understand that maybe you've gone through some shit. I've had my heart broken, too. but it's completely beyond RIDICULOUS to classify any affection I have towards you as false. and to question it after months upon months of trying to prove it to you? what are you all trying to prove? it's like... it's some exit strategy. whenever you get bored/angry with what we have going on, you can pull out the, "well, you never liked me to begin with!" or "if you liked me, you would never do anything like this!"

seriously?

I can understand you being nervous. hell, even I was nervous at one point. but when does the highschool bullshit end?

I'm not looking for a wife, hell no. if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. but I'd like to know that if I'm investing all this emotion into what someone and I have, it'd be really, REALLY nice to know that my words aren't falling upon deaf ears.

but, of course, every single girl I've ever been intimate with obviously can't hear.

and it's really disheartening.

Wow they didn't delete this?

I've really been a member since 2004? Man, that was a horrible year. (see ALCS 2004)

BE BACK LATER. I've got 4 years of blogging to catch up on :)

And I've gotta get my computer savvy back. man, this green and black look needs an overhaul.